Millennials Seek "Generic Father Figure" For Backyard BBQ On Craigslist

A group of millennials in Spokane, Washington are seeking a “generic father figure” to help them host a barbecue on Father"s Day weekend.  In the Craigslist post which has explicably since gone viral, college student Dane Anderson and his “boys” are offering free food and booze to any enterprising area dad who’s willing to come to their party next Saturday and man the grill for a few hours.

Anderson, who was interviewed by local NBC affiliate KHQ, says he created the post because he and his roommates, who range in age from 21 to 26, live too far away from their own dads.

For any interested dads, duties include:

• Grilling hamburgers and hotdogs (whilst drinking beer)


• Bringing your own grill (though this is subject to change. We will provide all of the meat)


• Refer to all attendees as "Big Guy", "Chief", "Sport", "Champ" etc. (whilst drinking beer)


• Talk about dad things, like lawnmowers, building your own deck, Jimmy Buffet, etc. Funny anecdotes are highly encouraged. All whilst drinking beer.

The "boys" are looking for dads with a minimum of 18 years" experience as a father, a minimum of 10 years" grilling experience and "an appreciation of a nice, cold beer on a hot summer day." For what it"s worth, Anderson & Co. say they know how to grill, but that “none of us are prepared to fill the role of BBQ dad.”

Oh, and since we are talking about millennials broke college students, Anderson says he and his roommates can’t afford to pay their stand-in “dad", though they’re offering compensation in the form of "all the food and cold beer your heart desires.”

Anderson told KHQ that the ad has yielded a handful of responses. But at least one interested dad didn’t pan out.

"There was one guy stan who sent us a message but then he stopped replying,” Anderson told KHQ. Now that the media has helped transform Anderson"s post into a viral sensation, he and his roommates might try and recruit as many as three dads to help with the festivities.

“We’re just looking for a dad to come and crack a cold one with the boys,” Dane said. The nature of Anderson"s relationship with his own father – and whether or not he plans to call and wish him a happy father’s day – remains unclear.

This Substance Actually Dulls Parenting Instincts, Study Says

A sad and disturbing study from researchers at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania shows that opioids appear to dull people’s natural parenting instincts. [1]

In recent months, numerous stories have been in the news concerning children who were left alone with parents or caregivers who had overdosed on prescription opioids or heroin.

For the millions of people who see stories and can’t understand what drives parents to be so negligent, perhaps the findings will offer a little bit of perspective, though they won’t make the stories any easier to digest.

In September, heartbreaking pictures of 2 adults overdosed on heroin in the front of a car with a 4-year-old boy in a car seat in the back went viral when Ohio police released the image to show the public how dire the opioid crisis had become in that state.

And then, earlier this month, authorities found 2 adults dead inside a Pennsylvania home after a 7-year-old told her bus driver she had been trying to wake her parents for more than a day. Three other children were also in the home, ages 5, 3, and 9.

It was the 2nd overdose police had responded to in that single block in less than a day.

I know, this article isn’t a happy one.

What the Study Says About our Brains and Opioids

In the study, researchers scanned the brains of 47 men and women before and after they went through treatment for opioid addiction.

During the brain scans, the participants looked at various images of babies while the researchers measured the brain’s response. The participants’ brain scans were compared with the brain responses of 25 ‘healthy’ people.

The participants were not aware that the photos had been manipulated to adjust the “baby schema,” a term which describes the set of facial and other features like round faces and big eyes that make our brains “see” babies as helpless, adorable creatures, and trigger our parental instincts.

In some cases, the researchers adjusted the babies’ features to make them even more irresistible, while in other photos the babies’ faces were altered to make their features ‘smaller and less appealing.’ (Their words, not mine.)

Source: The New York Times

Studies indicate that a higher baby schema activates the region of the ventral striatum section of the brain, a key component of the brain reward pathway. For example, a 2009 study found that just looking at a baby’s face causes the brain to react in a way that triggers parental instincts. [2]

When the participants’ brains were compared to the healthy people’s brains, the brains of the opioid-dependent participants didn’t produce strong responses to the cute baby pictures. [1]

However, once the opioid-dependent individuals received a drug called naltrexone, which blocks the effects of opioids, their brains produced a more normal response.

Dr. Daniel D. Langleben, one of the researchers, said:

“When the participants were given an opioid blocker, their baby schema became more similar to that of healthy people.

The data also raised in question whether opioid medications may affect social cognition in general.”

The study is 1 of the first to examine the effects of opioid dependence and how its treatment affects social cognition. The findings were presented in September at the European College of Neuropsychopharmacology Congress in Vienna.

Approximately 9 million children in America lived with at least 1 drug- or alcohol-dependent parent in the previous year, a 2009 report by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) shows.

Additionally, statistics provided by the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System in 2014 show that 29 states reported that an average of 17.9% of child fatalities were associated with a caregiver who had a risk factor of drug abuse.

A little good news was announced in May, however, when the information firm IMS Health shared that there has been a 12% national decline in opioid prescriptions since 2012.

Sources:

[1] The New York Times

[2] Global News

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About Julie Fidler:
	Julie Fidler is a freelance writer, legal blogger, and the author of Adventures in Holy Matrimony: For Better or the Absolute Worst. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two ridiculously spoiled cats. She occasionally pontificates on her blog.

Study: Mobile Devices are Causing, Stress, Anxiety at Home

Smartphones and tablets are replacing face-to-face interactions, and families are suffering because of it, a new study says.

According to lead study author Dr. Jenny Radesky, assistant professor of developmental behavioral pediatrics at the University of Michigan Medical School, incoming communications from work, friends, and the world at large is “contaminating” family mealtime, bedtime, and playtime. Whether you agree with the term ‘contamination’ or not, I think we can all agree these times are changing due to these technological devices. [1]

Radesky says:

“This tension, this stress, of trying to balance newly emerging technologies with the established patterns and rituals of our lives is extremely common, and was expressed by almost all of our participants. We have to toggle between what might be stress-inducing or highly cognitively demanding mobile content and responding to our kids’ behavior.”

As a result, there is more tension between parents and their children, with increased stress in the home.

The findings are based on interviews with 35 parents and caregivers of young children in the Boston area. The study included 22 mothers, 9 fathers, and 4 grandmothers.

Participants were between the ages of 23 and 55, with an average age of 36, and cared for toddlers or children up to age 8. Roughly 1/3 were single parents, and nearly six in 10 were white.

Joseph Bayer, an assistant professor in the School of Communication at Ohio State University, found the results unsurprising. It all makes perfect sense to Bayer, who says:

“Given past research on texting while driving and mentally demanding tasks, I can see how ‘texting while parenting’ would lead to some cognitive and emotional conflict.” [2]

Some Positive Takeaways

There were some positive associations with using mobile devices at home, too.

Here are a few interesting findings from the study:

• While many parents said devices made it easier for them to work from home, this sometimes created more anxiety.

• Some participants said smartphones gave them a break from the boredom and stress of raising young children.

• Many parents admitted that using a mobile device could affect their mood, thereby affecting their interactions with their child.

• Children sometimes acted out to get attention if their parent or caregiver spent too much time on their device. As a result, caregivers sometimes reacted angrily.

• Parents who used mobile devices during meals interacted less with their children, and became stressed when their children tried to divert their attention away from the device.

Larry Rosen, professor emeritus at California State University, Dominguez Hills, who wasn’t involved in the study, says:

“Younger generations believe that they can multitask with anything and that is simply not true.

What they rapidly discover is that they cannot do two tasks together as well as each separately, and, in fact, it adds another layer of stress to their already stressed lives raising children.”

Radesky holds the same views, saying:

“So much of their lives are contained in these devices – work, friendships, world news, loads of information – so they elicit much more in-depth cognitive and emotional responses from us, and this can be even harder to balance with attention to each other.”

Read: 5 Ways to Recharge, Enjoy Life Without Technology

Setting Some Boundaries

Radesky has some advice for parents and caregivers who are struggling to keep all of the balls in the air while still holding onto their electronic gadgets:

• Set boundaries that include device-free periods and device-free areas of the home.

• Keep track of your mobile use and cut back if you find that you’re spending too much time staring at a device. There are downloadable apps that can help you do that. [1] [2]

• Parents should pay attention to which activities are the most stressful, and try to avoid those tasks when it’s family time. [2]

Here’s something else for parents to consider. A study published this past spring shows that 1/2 of U.S. kids are addicted to technology, so there is no doubt that this problem is pervasive, and growing.

Sources:

[1] HealthDay

[2] Reuters

Featured image source: NPR

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About Julie Fidler:
	Julie Fidler is a freelance writer, legal blogger, and the author of Adventures in Holy Matrimony: For Better or the Absolute Worst. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two ridiculously spoiled cats. She occasionally pontificates on her blog.